


My secret side I keep, hid under lock and key.

by wildheartx



Category: Baseball RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Character Study, Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 16:15:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17389607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildheartx/pseuds/wildheartx
Summary: There's a saying that goes something like, “You don't really know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.” And that seems to be a fair assessment of Andrew Benintendi.A boy who's smile is as radiant as sunshine. He's one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. But sometimes the kindest, gentlest souls are the ones that harbor the most pain. And one day the secrets he'd been so desperate to hide come out in the most unexpected way.





	My secret side I keep, hid under lock and key.

**Author's Note:**

> Title pulled from a lyric in the song, "Monster" by Skillet.

There's a saying that goes something like, “You don't really know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.” And that seems to be a fair assessment of Andrew Benintendi.

A boy who's smile is as radiant as sunshine. He's one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. But sometimes the kindest, gentlest souls are the ones that harbor the most pain. And one day the secrets he'd been so desperate to hide come out in the most unexpected way.

“Hey Cora, where's Benny?”, Mitch asks his manager. “In the shower.”, he replies absentmindedly, while looking up from video he was watching but not realizing the chain of events he was unknowingly about to set off.

“Benny, you in here?”, Mitch calls out. And Benny freezes like a deer in headlights. _Fuck. Mitch was not supposed to be in here._ God, this was not going to end well…

Taking a deep breath, Benny braced himself for what was to come next. Immediately, Mitch came under the spray of the shower and turned the water off. “Benny. What...happened to you?”, he asks before guiding him out of the shower.

Once Benny is dry, Mitch examines his wrists and ankles which are littered with dozens of cuts in various stages of healing. “Baby no. God, how long have you been cutting?”, he finally asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, Benny finally looks up and meets Mitch's gaze. “I started when I was like 16, stopped for a while then picked it back up in college. And when I'd gotten called up, those old demons started to come out again. I got better at hiding it. Always wearing tape or wristbands on my hands. The ankles are easier to hide because nobody ever looks there.”, he says, with a shrug.

Upon hearing Benny speak, Mitch could feel his heart break. How could such a sweet, beautiful boy be so tortured? “Oh baby no. This...no. You can't keep doing this. Promise me you'll stop. I love you and I don't want to see you hurt yourself anymore.”, Mitch pleads with him.

Looking up at Mitch, Benny allows himself to cry. “I'm sorry, Mitch. I'll get help. I'll do anything you want. Just please don't leave me.”, he cries out, burying his face in Mitch's chest.

Pulling Benny fully into his lap, Mitch cradles his boyfriend close to him. “Never baby. We're in this for the long run.”, he murmurs, kissing the top of his head.

Once they got up and changed, the duo grabbed their bags so they could head home.

“So in the morning, I'm gonna call and schedule an appointment with a therapist.”, Benny says, reaching over and giving his hand a gentle squeeze which makes Mitch smile.

“Good, and I really do think that this is gonna be good for you. It's time for you to heal, baby and move on. I'll be by your side every step of the way.”, he murmurs, squeezing Benny's hand in return.

Standing on his tiptoes, Benny leans up to kiss Mitch while not caring who was watching. He was tired of hiding and it was time everyone knew who the _real_ Andrew Benintendi was, starting right now.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of the most personal things I've written because it's pulled from my own personal struggle with mental health issues, most notably self-harming. So obviously this was very hard for me to write let alone actually publish this. It was just something that I needed to do for me and I hope y'all understand that.


End file.
